It’s finally here! A day that I have hoped for and waited on
for over 3 years….. The day that Libby gets to stop wearing her corrective
shoes (or as we call them, her “night-night shoes!”) We just put her “night-night
shoes” on for the last time! Woo hoo!
Many of you don’t know, some of you know a little bit, and
some of you have been amazing friends who have listened and encouraged…… but
the day we found out our precious baby was a girl, we also found out she would
be born with a clubbed foot. It was not something I expected to hear. All I had
thought about was pink or blue! It never crossed my mind the real importance of
the ultrasound…. To make sure that my baby girl was healthy. I remember after
finding out we called our parents and told them. I also remember being really
strong. I had talked with Jason and called my parents and not cried one bit.
Then, I called my friend Brittany. I feel so bad, because before one word got
out of my mouth I was sobbing! I was no longer strong! My perfect baby
girl….well…. she had a flaw. I remember asking God why? I remember Brittany and
Brittany came over that night to celebrate my baby girl and brought her
adorable dresses. We talked and I cried some more. They encouraged me and said
that God only gives things to us that we can handle. I knew they were right. I
knew He had a plan and that Libby was going to do amazing things.
A week or so later we had a more detailed ultrasound
scheduled in Birmingham. Both of our moms went with us for support. As we sat
in the waiting room, I could hear other couples talking. One in particular was
there to confirm their perfect baby was going to be born with Down Syndrome. It
was then that I finally realized….. This is nothing. This is fixable. She is
still going to be our perfect baby girl!
Until that point I had accepted our situation and that God had a plan
and He would be with us, but at that point I realized how little our baby’s
issue was compared to so many others. Only Jason and I were allowed in the back
for the ultrasound. There we could see her. See her precious features. We could
also clearly see and confirm that she only had one clubbed foot.
After that appointment I began to wonder what all this would
mean for Libby. My mother-in-law had a Facebook friend that recently had a baby
with two clubbed feet. So, we looked up pictures and saw their cute little son
with the corrective shoes on. Other than that I don’t remember knowing much
more before her first doctor’s appointment.
On February 11, 2010, Libby was born. She was perfect!
Beautiful! She had a head full of hair that looked like it had highlights! She
brought us all so much joy! (And still does!)
About a week and half after she was born we went to
Children’s for her first doctor’s appointment with Dr. Khorey. As I said
before, I had no clue what to expect. But on that first appointment, she got
her first, tiny cast. It went from the tips of her toes all the way up to her
diaper line. Some other things we didn’t know to expect….. poop on the cast!
(YUCK!), no real bath until all of the casting was done, the weird feeling of
holding your not even 2 week old with a big, hard cast on, and the fact that
she seemed oblivious to the cast (such a blessing!)
We had to return to Children’s weekly to have the cast
changed for a total of 7 weeks. If it was bottle time, we always had to try and
hold her off so she would take a bottle while they were changing the cast, in
order to make it easier on the nurses and doctor. Every week the cast would
turn more outward, which was turning her foot more outward. After the 7th
week of cast, she had a minor surgery to clip her Achilles tendon. (this made
her foot more flexible.) While she was asleep, they also made molds of her feet
so they could create her corrective shoes. After the surgery she had one final
cast that she had to wear for 2 ½ weeks. When they took the final cast off,
they gave us her corrective shoes. These shoes have 3 buckles per foot to keep
the shoe on and have a bar that connects the two shoes together and pushes the
feet out. We were so looking forward to this! It meant she could have her first
bath in the tub (before the cast, she still hadn’t lost her umbilical cord
thingy-which by the way still grosses me out- sorry off subject). But, we were
unprepared. Going from the cast for 2 ½ weeks that had followed a surgery to
the shoes….. well, it was painful for her. The doctor had warned us….. but
other doctors had warned us about shots too….and those were nothing…. We had
planned to meet my parents and eat that night to celebrate no more casts.
However, she had been crying and screaming basically since she got the shoes
on. So my parents let us eat and took her home so we could have a break.
Luckily, that only lasted a couple of days! The shoes had to be worn 23 hours a
day. We could take the shoes off for one hour, but her bath had to be included
in that hour.
Again there were things I didn’t expect with the shoes. I
didn’t think about how maybe people who kept her in the church nursery might
feel uncomfortable taking the bar off of her shoes in order to change her clothes
(if needed), or about how (once again) it would be difficult to hold her, or
about how she couldn’t sit easily on my hip like other babies did, or wear
footie pjs. L
I wondered, how will she learn to sit up, crawl, walk? But
she is a champ! She sat up and crawled with her shoes on before most average
kids. She also pulled up! I can remember her pulling up and rocking back and
forth on her shoes. She loved to do that! I thought pulling up was the magic
skill she had to master to be able to get to stop wearing her shoes during the
day….. but it wasn’t. Because she pulled up so early, they knew she wouldn’t be
walking that soon and had us keep the shoes on. Once it got closer to time for
her to walk, we were allowed to only make her sleep in the shoes….hence the
name we gave the shoes, “night night shoes.”
Around 8 months, she finally got to only wear her shoes at
night. Since then things have been pretty easy. As she got older she never seriously
questioned the shoes. If anything, it helped us with the bedtime routine. She
knew it was bed time when we started putting her shoes on. I think it also
helped transition into a big girl bed. She couldn’t get out! Unfortunately, in
the past 6 months she has learned she can indeed get out of bed and crawl down
the hallway to ask to go potty or because she is afraid of the bats that might
come in her room…… The first time I saw her crawl down the hall I almost cried
because it made me so sad…. However…. Now I get irritated. Stay in bed girl! J
In the past year there have been a few questions. I can
remember one night, not too long ago, she had a scrape on her foot and didn’t
want to wear her shoes. We told her she had to. She looked at me and said, mom,
do you want my foot to hurt? Talk about break your heart! I said no baby, I want
it to get better. (She wore her shoes that night!)
One thing that never crossed my mind (until recently), I
never worried about how others would look at her (when she was younger and
wearing the shoes 23 hours a day). And…. It was not a problem. If anyone
noticed Libby, it was because she was/is absolutely beautiful! A few people did
ask about the shoes, but I was never ashamed. So if this is something you are
facing….. don’t be ashamed. Others will still notice your child first, not
their stylish footwear!
I will say it has not been the easiest thing. There have
definitely been emotional break downs, but compared to what so many other
parents go through, it was nothing! I will also say we were very consistent!
There were very few nights she didn’t wear her shoes. She got a break on
Christmas, when she spent the night at her grandparents, if she was sick, and a
few other special occasions, but we really tried to be consistent. On those
days she had to wear the shoes 23 hours a day, there were very few times we
didn’t do wear them all 23 hours. We
felt we were in charge of correcting her foot, and although we wanted those
times of no shoes for her, we wanted more for this to be a memory!
And now……. It becomes a memory! Woohoo! We will still go
back to see Dr. Khorey sometime at the beginning of next year…. But shoes every
night….SEE YA!
When she is older, she will probably only remember what we
tell her about this whole thing. The one thing I hope she knows, is that
through it all, she was a champ! She was and is so strong! That her parents
would do anything for her! That through it all, God was with her and He healed her.
That He has some awesome plans for her life!
In closing, I want to leave you with the verse we picked out
to be her life verse at her baby dedication. I also will include a few of the earlier pictures. One is with her
cast and two show her shoes.
“ Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me
were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16
Praise God!
